Snoring isn’t called ‘the silent relationship killer’ because it doesn’t make any sound. On the contrary, the sometimes raucous sounds that are called snoring could often rival a freight train going through the bedroom! Snoring has earned the name ‘silent relationship killer’ in my new ebook “Is Snoring Destroying Your Relationship While You Sleep?” because it stealthily causes damage (sometimes irreparable) to a relationship without a couple being aware or failing to acknowledge that snoring is at the root cause of their anger, irritation and discontent.
To begin with, a person doesn’t snore on purpose and can often feel guilty along with the feelings of isolation, frustration and hopelessness. A snorer typically isn’t even aware they are doing it until their partner (the snoree) irritatingly punches them out of a sound sleep during the night or demands that they move to another room, then angrily reports their snoring to them the next morning. Most people who snore believe there isn’t anything they can do about it or they become so defensive about the issue that they refuse to do anything about it. And snoring has just silently taken one big chunk out of the relationship.
The snoring continues and the snoree loses sleep (or can’t get to sleep in the first place) because of the noise that is being emitted on the other side of the bed. When sleep is lost night after night, feelings of anger, frustration and resentment begin to build against the offender. And snoring takes another healthy chunk out of the relationship…which at this time is begin to limp because of the now fragile nature of both parties.
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In a desperate attempt to try to get a full night’s sleep, one partner will come to bed later than the other. These separate bed times mean that the intimate moments where a couple has the chance to talk and share their day’s experiences or have ‘cuddle times’ together or share laughter become fewer and fewer until they don’t exist. And making love becomes a distant memory. With both conversational and physical intimacy times declining, there goes another large chunk out of the relationship.
When separate bed times don’t work because the snoring still wakes the snoree out of a sound sleep, separate bedrooms become the only option they can see. And the separation between the couple, not only in their sleeping arrangements but in their closeness, creates a huge chasm between them. And as this pattern continues, snoring consistently chews away at the relationship until there is nothing left. Yet the couple blames a myriad of other things, never putting the blame where it belongs…on the stealthy relationship killer called snoring.
The most alarming part of this whole scenario is that snoring is often accepted or seen as something that ‘just is’ instead of being recognized as a problem that a couple can work on together to find a solution. There are over 300 snoring aids or snoring remedies on the market and along with lifestyle changes or natural cures for snoring, couples don’t have to ‘deal with it,’ but can actually eliminate snoring from their lives and their relationships. The reasons for snoring are many, but the end result of snoring is usually the same – a frayed, damaged or destroyed intimacy and relationship.