The Past and Future of Marriage Institution
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Based on Wikipedia, Marriage is a social establishment in which interpersonal relationships, financial and personal obligations as well as intimate and sexual relationships are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture. If we look into history of creation a marriage institution, it has been formed by society and regulated by government as a union of one man and one woman to organize, regulate and protect a structure of the social order. Historically, people have been getting married to achieve different goals such as legal status, social rank, emotional comfort, economical position, as well as spiritual and religious acceptance. Being in love and hoping to spend the rest of your life with one person has always been a reason for marriage from emotional point of view. Getting married and making a promise to love until death do us part has been an honest believe for majority of people.
In the beginning of marriage, intimacy and sex is an extremely important component of married life for majority of couples. As years go on, regularity as well as assortment of married sex is dropping drastically. According to different studies, variety and frequency of married sex diminish through the years of commitment eventually bringing marriage to a stage of being sexless. Married sex cannot even be compared with sex before or outside marriage. At the best case scenario, married couples have sexual or romantic activity one or two times a month. According to data collected from the General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972, married couples have sex with their spouse no more than once a week which ends up being 58 times a year. Fifteen percent of all married couples have not had sex with their spouse in six months to one year with tendency to continue living in a sexless marriage.
Why does it happen? Do all married couples have low sex drives, and may even be asexual? Are reasons for marriage becoming sexless physical or social or could it be explained by looking into human nature? First of all, being married means having responsibilities and obligations of having children, getting a career, and providing for a family. Having good sex rarely made a priority… Losing passion, excitement and desire is the biggest casualty of marriage. We should be rational to admit that maintaining the passion alive forever is not realistic for majority of people. Excitement and desire go away. Passion and spark has a tendency to disappear making sex boring and undesirable. The problem is that it’s very seldom acceptable for both spouses. This situation becomes critical if one partner cannot leave and does not want to continue living in a sexless marriage.
Are extramarital relationships a solution to the problem? Not by society standards and not from morality point of view.
… I am one of a married people you know: good looking, successful, great family, two beautiful children. My marriage became sexless around fifteen years ago as my wife had no desire for sex anymore and I finally gave up after years of begging. Being completely frustrated, I started looking through married dating sites and eventually began having an affair with a woman who was in a sexless marriage as well. I was not looking for a new partner every day, neither I was interested in leaving my family or breaking somebody else. Our five-year monogamous relationship likely saved both our marriages…
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