Save a Marriage – Reasons For Divorce and How to Stop it Dead in Its Tracks!
Not knowing where to turn when you marriage is on the brink of failure is a horrible feeling. The sleepless nights, the stress at home, and the pure anxiety are all very common and you are not alone. There is a 50% that you and your spouse will end up in divorce, especially if you live in the United States. But you do not have to be on the losing end of this horrific stat.
One thing I want you to realize is it is NEVER too late to save a marriage even if your spouse has already given up hope. The first step involved in saving a marriage is to fist evaluate the problem. If your spouse is unwilling to sit down and talk about this, then you must in the effort yourself. They may not necessarily want to make it work but they might just be so stressed that avoiding the situation is the easiest thing to do. It is very important you try and then there is good chance they will see this and follow in your lead.
There are many reasons for divorce and in a bit we will talk about the most common and the signs that may be present. But I want you to remember that you will have to work at this. It will take a lot of work but if you truly want this to work out it will all be worth it.
Here are the most common issues that arise in a divorce
1. Financial Issues: We all know that money plays a huge part in a marriage. Maybe your spouse is not making enough money to support you and your family. Maybe they make money and spend too much putting a financial distress on the marriage. The first thing you need to realize is if the stress is due to a job loss or just plain recklessness. If they lost a job due to the bad economy it is not their fault. They may just need the love and support from you to get back on their feet again. Yelling at them and making things difficult will not force them to look any harder.
If the financial chaos is caused to over spending there are many things you can do to prevent this. Seeking a financial advisor and setting up a budget are the two most common ways. Give them a chance to prove themselves and see where it goes from there.
2. Unfaithful Spouse: This is by far the hardest to get over. When my spouse cheated on me I thought for sure we were done but by doing some research online I found a great guide to help us out. Things are still not back to the way they use to be (it has only been 3 months) but each day is a great progress and each day I gain a bit more trust and respect back into the marriage. Remember that cheating is a two way street and more times than not it happened because they felt distant to you or your pushed them away and did not fulfill their needs…so they went to someone that did. Talking about why this happened is a must so you can leave the past in the past and build on a beautiful new future together.
Quick stat. If your spouse cheated on you there is a 2-8% chance they will do it again…very low odds. If you simply leave and find another companion there is a 50% chance your new “friend” will cheat on you. You have a better chance of NOT being cheated on twice so working out the marriage is way more logical than leaving.
3. No Excitement and Boredom: Seeing the same person day in and day out can get quite old but more so when there is no excitement in the marriage. Make things happen! Don’t just sit around and wish he/she would ask you to go somewhere. Make the plans yourself. Now if you have a financial hardship you cannot always book trips or take a weekend away but doing things as simple as going to a movie without children or a night out dancing can go a long way.
Remember when you first met? You did all sorts of things like this. So why stop now? Another great idea I found in a guide I purchased was to set up a picnic in a park (something I have never done before). My wife was amazed and the date was great and the night was better. It cost me $23 to do this ($6 for a rose and $17 for the food) but the look on her face looked like I just bought her a $20,000 ring. It felt so great and that is just what we needed.