Long Distance Trust After infidelity
Advertisement: If you ever need any help with fixing your marriage, I would suggest you take a look at this video (opens in a new tab):
Right after finding out your mate was having an affair there were quite a lot of thoughts and emotions threatening to totally overwhelm you. Yet to your credit you have been much tougher as compared to what you actually thought. You faced up to your partner and presented the evidence and still were able to take control of your anger after they confessed.
Your mate said they were sorry and swore up and down it would never happen again. You forgave them but said very forcefully that things need to change and that you need to see wholesale proof of those changes.
You did what you could do to assist them along with some personal action steps that you can take to improve the relationship. That does not mean you are taking the blame for what they did but you understand for the marriage to survive it is essential that both of you make changes.
Unfortunately at this moment you are filled with worry. The marriage partner is going to be traveling for the next few days.
It’s bad enough that you have your doubts whenever they go out the door but it passes. You contact them at the office and they are there every time. Whenever it is time for your spouse to come home they do.
Yet this taking a trip for several days is a whole different matter. Guarantees from your mate are not helping. True they’ve made substantial progress but that is not really making you feel any better.
You can always go along with them. Use some vacation days from your place of work. This will likely make it feel as if you are spying and in all honesty you are. However what it also shows is that you are not ready to trust your marriage partner.
Hopefully your significant other can understand this. They may even decide to invite you to go with them. Keep in mind that if they do take regular trips it may not always be conducive for you to travel with them but in the early stages after infidelity it could do both of you a world of good.
Another option could be to set up a check in schedule. You could give them a call as well as the other way around. In the event they are at a conference, it is possible that they could forward you their agenda so you as well as the spouse time your calls to fit. To go even further the two of you can utilize your personal cellphones as a web cam to keep an eye on your significant other. There is also sending text messages.
Does all this strike you as extreme? That’s because it is. As soon as your mate committed infidelity they took it to the extreme. If they are seriously interested in saving the marriage relationship then there are instances when they’re going to need to tolerate a heavy dose of keeping track of.