Does It Make You Weak if You Stay with Your Husband After He Cheated?
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If you’re reading this, then there’s a good chance that your husband cheated on you in your marriage. If that’s the case, I’m truly sorry. I know only too well how painful the betrayal of adultery can be. Maybe women often assume that this means that the marriage is a failure and that it’s doomed to end up with a trip to the divorce attorney.
But when you got married, it was forever. Does it make you weak for wanting to stick to those vows, work things out with your husband, and make your marriage better than it was before?
First of all, in our modern culture, it seems like everyone is more than ready to get divorced at the drop of a hat. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce, no one would blame you for divorcing your husband over something as serious as an affair.
In fact, maybe your friends or family are encouraging you to get a divorce. Maybe they tell you that you deserve better. I can’t answer the question of whether or not divorce is right for you. Indeed, that is a personal decision that you must make for yourself based on your own values and the direction you want your life to go in.
But does it make you weak to stick it out with your husband?
Not necessarily. Although no one would blame you for leaving your husband after he had an affair, staying with him can prove to be a powerful way to explore the power of forgiveness to heal and deepen your relationship.
Plus, if you did divorce, there is no guarantee that your next relationship would be any better. Have you ever known someone who just seems to have the same relationship over and over again no matter who she seems to date? That’s because we tend to attract similar types of relationships based on how we unconsciously act and what we believe about relationships.
If you don’t deal with whatever set the stage for the affair in the first place, you may inadvertently end up in another relationship that may involve infidelity.
For example, if you don’t believe that you can ever offer your love fully to someone for risk of being hurt, then your partner may not feel completely loved by you. He may feel a void in the relationship and over time he may become dissatisfied with it. This may drive him to have an affair. If you bring this same inability to offer your love completely to another relationship, you may create the same situation over and over again.
Now, I’m not saying that this is what necessarily happened in your marriage or that staying with your husband is necessarily a good idea. However, if you want to explore how to forgive and resolve the problems in your relationship that led up to the affair, then it may be worth considering looking a little deeper and trying to work things out before heading off to the attorney’s office to file for divorce.
Indeed, staying in your marriage after your husband cheats doesn’t have to be a sign of weakness at all. It can actually be a true sign of strength and commitment to follow through on your wedding vows. It takes real strength to take a hard look at the situation and yourself and deal with the difficult questions rather than just hitting the eject button at the first bump in the road.