3 Very Important Areas in Marriage
The nine basic areas of marriage introduced by Worthington Jr. are central beliefs and values, core vision, confession/forgiveness, communication, conflict resolution, cognition, closeness, complicating factors, and commitment.
Central beliefs and values can be cultural or social. A couples values or beliefs can cause conflict between the two if misunderstood. If you hold your values to a certain standard, your partner can interpret this stronghold wrongly. Core vision of a marriage is how each partner views the marriage or what they want the marriage to be.
Confession/ forgiveness considered also being instrumental to a marriage especially if the couple has Christian values. If you and your partner believe in Christian values, then both of you will probably believe in forgiveness. Which can also help, as a start on conflict resolution by confessing, and forgiving from each other.
Communication, also considered to be the most instrumental in a marriage; I believe that it aids in each of the nine areas of marriage.
Conflict resolution is also another important area of marriage. I also believe being able to resolve conflicts between partners is essential and the key to staying happy in marriages.
Cognition, another area Worthington spoke about. It can be very helpful because if you think and preserve the relationship in a positive light instead of negatively; positivity can build a healthy marriage.
Closeness is also instrumental to a marriage, I think that closeness will help partners understand each other better; you may pay more attention to each other and possibly have more intimacy which interns leads to a better relationship.
Commitment is another most important area of marriage. I believe if you both are committed to each other in your relationship/marriage and or any common goals, you both will try your hardest to reach that goal or goals, whether it is your relationship/ marriage, family or in any goals set. If problems arise a committed couple will try to resolve the issues to reach to the goals set. I also in fact trust that all nine areas of marriage work together to make a great marriage.
One of the three areas I think most important to a marriage is a couples central beliefs and values. A couple’s central viewpoint and values might be the first area of resolve the marital problem. Values are aspects of living that people deem important to each individual, personal in marriage. Some morals are held stronger than others. When there is a disaster you hardly ever adjust your values. In the text the marsh characterizes values that are less strongly held by either person. At this time the need for communication is very important with any relationship, especially in a marriage. Communicating how much each of you values your morals and beliefs can make understanding each other easier.
In communication there are many types of communication and troubles that could go along with them. The majority of the problems with a couple’s communication method happened a long time in the past and maybe during the dating process. Deprived communication can be present because of misunderstandings, reduced communication styles and a discrepancy of marital power.
Most communication problems are created because people don’t recognize each other’s meaning. Being preoccupied exhausted and stressed out or too centered on creating what you are going to say next than to pay attention to your partner, are some of the causes of misunderstandings.
Communication problems arise not because of what you say but of how things are said to each other. Troubles transpire because partners usually interrupt a partner’s communications inappropriately. A conversational interruption also leads to quarrels.
For example, if you were interrupted in the middle of your sentence. You might interpret that your partner was not listening to you, or did not want to hear what you were saying, which might make you feel less respected. This shows a lack of respect for what you are feeling or a disregard of what you were saying.
Conflict resolution is also another area I think important in marriages. Some couples use shouting, vulgar language; and may actually abuse each other. A disagreement is the single biggest trait of couples who come to marital counselors.
I believe if a couple uses conflict resolution intervention or learn how to resolve issues before it becomes a major show down, can help their conflict resolution problems in the future. I think learning how to do this, can help by couples trying to correct problems that may arise by themselves. As I also think communication plays a major role in this area as all nine areas of marriage.
Worthington, E. L. (2005). Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy. (Rev.). InterVarsity Press.