Read This if You Need to Get Through to Your Wife When She’s Leaving

Read This if You Need to Get Through to Your Wife When She’s Leaving

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The ultimate couples guide to a perfect marriage by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

If you are like most men, then when your wife told you that she wanted to leave, it left you with one feeling above all:

Fear.

And yeah, sure, maybe a little bit of anger to… But I’m willing to bet that if you really stop for a second – take a deep breath – to examine yourself (at your own risk!) that you would find that the root of all that anger you’re feeling right now is actually…Fear.

Advertisement: If you ever need any help with fixing your marriage, I would suggest you take a look at this video (opens in a new tab):

The ultimate couples guide to a perfect marriage by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Maybe it’s fear of the unknown.

Maybe you’re afraid of facing yourself.

Maybe you’re scared of loss or rejection, or maybe even being alone for the rest of your life.

The fact is that it doesn’t really matter what you’re afraid of right now, as long as you recognize that fear is at least playing a small part in the way that you’re thinking right now.

But guess what?

Fear Isn’t Going to Stop You From Getting Your Wife Back

It’s not going to keep you from knowing how to talk to your wife to get her back, and it’s not going to keep you from a happy marriage, much less a happy life.

It’s like what FDR said during the Great Depression…

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

So, take a deep breath, try to be objective about the situation you’re in right now so that you can learn what to do and not let your emotions/fear incorrectly guide you. As you continue reading this article I’m going to talk to you about what to say to your wife when she says that she’s leaving.

3 Tips for Talking to Your Wife When She Wants Separation

#1. You Have 2 Ears and Only 1 Mouth

Many people hear me say this and mistakenly think that the only thing I’m trying to say is that listening is twice as important as speaking. While I do believe it is true, it also has a slightly deeper meaning.

The alternative meaning to this statement is that in every conversation there are two things you need to hear, and only one thing you need to say. You need to hear what your wife is saying and you need to hear it well enough that you understand it fully. Then, you need to respond politely and accordingly (this is the speaking). But then it goes further, because we all are guilty of miscommunication sometimes. So, it’s also important that you hear what YOU are saying so that your communication is effective and you can really talk to your wife.

So yes, listening is twice as important as speaking, and you use your ears and understanding twice as much as you use your voice and your communication. Does that make sense?

#2. Stay Strong in Front of Your Wife

This is something that very few men get right, because it is actually surprisingly difficult to do. This isn’t saying that you can’t have emotion in front of your wife, or that you can’t express yourself emotionally in front of your wife, or even that you can’t cry in front of your wife.

What it is saying is this:

You should never, ever, EVER beg your wife to stay with you.

While you shouldn’t be emotionally cold, you should maintain your dignity. This is very important, and it is part of being a man/husband/leader.

#3. Always Keep Your Focus on the Real Goal

Many men come to me and ask, “How do I get my wife back,” or “How do I save my marriage,” or even “How do I get my wife to love me again?”

These are all the wrong questions, because they’re focusing on the wrong goals. Your goal right now is very, very simple:

You need your wife to WANT you again.

Think about that statement for a second… Really let it sink in. I’ll say it one more time:

You NEED your wife to want you again.

There are three very important words in this statement…Need, want, again.

You NEED your wife to want you again because there is no other way to truly save your marriage, and conversely when your marriage is truly back on track your wife will want you.

You need your wife to WANT you again because if your wife doesn’t want you then she will not stay with you, plain and simple. No amount of marriage counseling, marriage help books, or ‘figuring stuff out’ is going to have any impact on whether she stays or goes.

You need your wife to want you AGAIN because there has been a time in the past when your wife wanted you in this way, and you need to find out how to reawaken it.

Do you see?

This IS the way to rekindle passion in your marriage, and this is how you can end your wife’s desire for separation:

Make Her Desire Something Else More…You!

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