Open Communication Won’t Get Your Wife Back, And This Is Why
Do you find yourself facing marriage problems with your wife? Does it seem like you just can’t get on the same wavelength, or that no matter what you do or say your wife still isn’t satisfied with your marriage?
If so, then this article was written for you. As you continue reading we’re going to bust one of the most common myths that you will hear regarding how to get your wife back. Can you guess what it is? The title pretty much says it all…
Open Communication is Not a Magic Marriage Solution
The first thing most husbands hear when they try to talk to a friend or counselor about their problems is that they need to “improve communication” within the marriage. Does this sound familiar to you?
Have you heard that better communication will help fix the current problems in your marriage?
If so, you have been lied to. This extremely common piece of advice sounds like it should work, but in practice it doesn’t do a whole lot. I have heard of very few women and even fewer marriages that have been repaired because of better communication… What about you?
Plus, open communication isn’t that hard… If that’s all that it took to fix a marriage, do you honestly believe that we would have a ~50% divorce rate in America today? Do you think that 50% of husbands are too dumb to say exactly what’s on their mind to their wives?
I think not.
Why Doesn’t Open Communication Work?
Honestly, I would be willing to bet a large sum of money that it was a woman who originally came up with this idea. It seems like a classic example of a “by women, for women” piece of advice.
See, better communication sounds like a logical piece of marriage advice… It sounds like it should work. I mean, all the healthy marriages that I know of also have very healthy communication between the two spouses. Therefore, shouldn’t practicing better communication also make your marriage better?
Well, in a perfect world, maybe. However, let me explain why this doesn’t work by giving you an analogy…
Maintaining Your Car is Like Maintaining Your Marriage
If you take good care of your car – regular oil changes, tire rotations, inspections, etc. – then you will rarely be surprised by an out-of-nowhere problem like engine failure or a busted transmission. The most expensive maintenance you will ever have to pay for is an oil change, otherwise your car will generally stay in good condition. Rarely will any problems arise because you’ve been a good owner and had the car regularly maintained.
Okay? So if you take good care of your car, it runs more smoothly for a lot longer. We all agree.
But, let’s look at the other side…
If you take bad car of your car – basically just driving it till it stops – then you will find that your car troubles become exponentially more frequent AND more expensive. If you run your car into the ground because you failed to keep up with regular maintenance, then it’s going to take something a lot more expensive than an oil change to keep it running. You may need a completely new engine, transmission, or something else expensive that you wouldn’t otherwise have had to pay for for a long, loooooong time.
So, do you see the two scenarios here?
In a good marriage, open communication is sort of like the regular maintenance… If you keep up with it, then you will rarely have problems, and those you do have will be resolved easily and quickly. However, if you fail to keep up with that regular marriage maintenance it will take a lot more than simple communication to get things running again.
Does that analogy makes sense? In other words…
Open Communication Works for Happy Marriages, Not Yours
If your marriage is on the rocks right now, and if you’re here reading this article then it is, open communication is not going to be enough to fix your marriage. No matter how clearly you’re able to communicate with your wife, you will be unable to change the way she feels about you or staying in the relationship.
So the question is: What should you do instead?
You need to change the way your wife feels about you… You need to make her feel attracted to you, to want you, to crave being with you. This is going to require a more dramatic change than open communication.