Learn the Real Reason Your Wife Wants to Leave
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“I know my wife wants to leave our marriage, but I don’t know why. If I knew what the problem was then I KNOW I could fix it – I’m willing to do anything for my wife! But everything I’ve tried so far seems like it’s only made it worse. Please help me find out the real reason my wife wants to leave!”
Are you afraid that your wife doesn’t love you anymore? Are you worried that the distance between you and her has grown too great to repair?
Perhaps your wife has already told you that she wants to leave – that she’s tired of the marriage – and it has left you wandering helplessly through a confusing storm of emotions with no idea how to move forward, much less try to repair your marriage!
Well, today I would like to help make things clearer for you. As you continue reading this article you’re going to find out the REAL reason why your wife wants to leave your marriage.
Basically, I’m going to walk you through a series of five questions that you need to ask yourself that will help you to paint a marriage-roadmap of how to proceed.
Sound good to you?
I’m to go through five questions need to ask yourself, and whether or not you write down the answers, you should at least answer honestly in your own head. Make sure you take a second with each question to REALLY think about it.
#1. How Long Has the Distance Been Growing?
Between you and your wife, that is. I want you to honestly reflect on the past weeks, months and even years, and tell me really and truly… How long have you and your wife been growing apart?
When was the last time your marriage was completely free of major problems?
When was the last time your marriage actually felt like a warm and loving relationship instead of a cold, distant battlefield or an oppressive prison of despair?
I want you to honestly take a minute or two and reflect on the journey your marriage has taken you through, and how you’ve gotten to where you are right now.
Go ahead, I’ll wait…
Okay! Let’s get to question #2…
#2. Have You Neglected Your Wife in Any Way?
Now before you clam up and get all defensive on me, just hold on one second…
I know that ‘neglect’ sounds like a very terrible word and not one that you want to associate yourself with, but remember that neglect can come in many forms… In fact, you may not even realize that you’re guilty until you take time to look in hindsight. And that’s what I want you to do now… Reflect, again, on the past few months of your marriage.
Really try to put yourself in your wife’s shoes; can you see areas of your marriage where she may have felt neglected because of something you did or didn’t do?
Here’s another way of finding the answer to this question…Think back to the vows you made at your wedding. Have you upheld every single one of those vows?
If you’re like most husbands, then the answer is that you have failed in at least one or two of these perspectives.
Again, none of this necessarily makes you a bad person, it just means that you have room to grow as a husband. That’s a good thing – it means you have HOPE! What would be worse is if we couldn’t figure out the problem and there was nothing you could do to save your marriage, right?
#3. Have Your Common Interests Drifted Apart?
While it’s not true that you need to marry someone that shares all of your interests to have a happy marriage, it is true that you need to have at least a few things in common. I want you to reflect back to BEFORE you and your wife got married…
* What things drew the two of you together?
* What was it they gave you your initial chemistry?
* What lit that first spark?
Now, I want you to think about your marriage now…
Where are those common interests?
Where is that chemistry?
What happened to the things the two of you used to do together?
While it’s true that we as people will always be growing and changing who we are, maintaining the commonalities between you and your wife – or at least keeping them in perspective – will really help you to keep your marriage strong to the roots.
#4. Do You Know What Your Wife Wants from Life?
This question is one that I know for a fact will take some deep reflection on your part. Do NOT just say the first thing that pops in your head… Seriously take a couple minutes to think about this…
* What are your wife’s goals in life?
* What does she want?
* On her deathbed, what is your wife going to look back and remember fondly?
Now, how have any of these answers changed since you first got married? Does your wife want anything different out of life now than when you in her first got married?
Understanding what your wife wants out of life will make it much easier to understand her motivation for wanting to leave, and perhaps help you understand the root cause of many of the problems in your marriage. Don’t underestimate the power that this question holds.
#5. How Have You Changed Since Being Married?
This is perhaps the most important question of all, which is why I’ve saved it for last.
What is the difference between you right now, and the you before you got married?
How have you changed physically, mentally and emotionally?
How have your life goals changed?
Most importantly, how has your wife’s perception of you changed?
I want you to very carefully compare the way that you used to be around your wife to the way you are now. What are the differences in your attitude, perspective and actions? How has the way that you treat your wife changed?
By carefully reflecting on each of these questions you can achieve great insight into why your wife wants to leave. More importantly, you can gain in-depth perspective on what it will take to get your wife to STAY with you.