Discover How to Convince Your Wife Not to Leave You
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All relationships have their ups and downs, and there are always times that things will seem very bleak.
But somehow, at least so far, you’ve always managed to get her back. But now you’re afraid that this time will be different, that somehow your relationship is so damaged that there is a very real threat of Humpty Dumpty NOT getting put back together again.
What Can You Do If Your Wife is Threatening to Leave You?
Well, first things first you should understand that you can never FORCE your wife to stay. In fact, begging and pleading with her to stay with you is probably the worst thing you can do at this point. The only way that your wife will stay with you is if you can make her WANT to stay.
I know that things were probably said in anger, and that feelings were probably hurt, but if your wife is on the verge of leaving you, the problem isn’t going to be solved with desperation, brute force, or persistence. You must understand is that your wife is “her own” person, and you must respect that.
Of course, that doesn’t mean there’s no way to get your wife back, I’m just saying that you need to be wary of how forceful you are about it…Women HATE being smothered in that situation. If she is adamant about leaving, then it will be tough to stop her, but not impossible.
You just have to understand how women work and what REALLY changes their mind about men.
If the real problem is that she decided in her heart that she doesn’t love you anymore, then that decision is nearly impossible to change, but not all the way impossible.
Some people will tell you that when it gets to this point it is better to ‘just let it go’…I am here to tell you that you should NOT give up. Even if it seems like there is absolutely no way of repairing the relationship, even if the relationship has already failed and it’s slowly in the process of burning out, your wife can still come back to you, but once again…You have to understand what’s going to get her back, and it’s NOT ‘working at it’ or ‘better communication’.
I know that you believe deep down in your heart that there is still a flame burning somewhere between you and your wife, and you should make every effort to find that flame with fierce conviction, because after all, this is the love of your life we’re talking about.
How to Find the Root Cause of the Problem
Before you rush and bring her flowers and mariachis, you need to take a few steps back and use the grey matter floating in your head. You need to distinguish between what ’caused’ the separation, and what ‘resulted’ from the separation.
Start by answering these questions:
* How long have you noticed this distance growing between you and your wife?
* Were you neglecting her in any way?
* Did your likes, dislikes and interests drift too far apart?
* Do you even know what she wants out of life, or do you think you know?
* Important! – What’s the difference between YOU now and YOU when you married your wife?
Ask yourself all these questions until you are certain you know what made you and your wife drift apart. I’ll tell you right now, though, that many times the answer lies in question #5, even if it doesn’t seem like it to you right now.
99% of the time, the root cause behind problem-marriages is the failure to re-discover the foundations of your love and relationship. You need to understand what attracted you two in the first place, so that you can remind her of it later.
It’s All About Rekindling the Flame of ATTRACTION!
Even though communication alone is NOT enough to save your marriage, it IS a huge help if you can figure out how to communicate with your wife in a way that she finds ATTRACTIVE.
Talk to her; go to her in a calm fashion. DON’T let your emotions get the better of you; stay strong in front of your wife, but not so strong that you can’t listen…As you may have heard before, the secret to great communication is the ability to actively listen.
What this means is that you are ACTIVELY listening to what she is saying and NOT just waiting for a time to respond.
It means that you are considering each and every word that is coming from her lovely mouth and absorbing it and responding to it.
Many conversations you’ve probably had with your wife in the past were in fact simply 2 monologues bouncing back and forth in a mockery of true communication; you’ll need to be a little more engaged if you want to get your wife back.
Remember, you need to actively change how she FEELS about you, not how she THINKS about you…By actively listening you will be able to remind her of what you had in the past, and then slowly introduce the idea of what you can have in the future.
As I said, communication WILL NOT save your marriage alone, but it can help you find out what will.
The Long Walk to Freedom
One more thing you have to realize is that your relationship will never be the same as it used to be, and it Never should be. A relationship should grow and mature in perfect synchronization to your own growth and maturity and hers.
Therefore this relationship, even though it is with the person you have spent a great deal of time with, should be considered as a fresh start, meaning it’s brand new. You will need to make her feel that this truly is a do-over if you want her to stay, because she is definitely not walking into the same old crap as before.